Jack and the Beanstalk

Jack And The Beanstalk

Hi I'm the big giant and I have an big and very pretty lady, my wife.  Any ways, so you think that that’s how the story of Jack and the beanstalk goes, well it doesn't!.

I will tell you how the real story goes, so get comfy and listen up.

Once upon a time there lived a boy his name was JACK sorry I just get cranky when I say his name.

Any ways, let me start this all over again.

Once upon a time there lived a boy called huh mm jack.

He lived in a cottage with his mum, they weren't rich at all, I'm telling ya, they weren't rich at all.

One day Jack and his mother didn't have anything to eat, so Jack’s mother said “Jack go sell Milky White”, so you may be wondering who Milky White is, it was their cow.

So before I tell you the rest of the story I just want to say that they are selling their cow!, I mean it’s just crazy they could keep the cow and maybe Jack’s mother could go get a job, so now that I let my thoughts about how crazy they are, now I can tell you the rest of the story.

So Jack did what his mother said, Jack went to the town to sell the cow.

While Jack was on his way he saw a guy and said “where are you going”?.

And the man replied “I'm going to the town.”

“Me too” said Jack

“And what may you be selling young lad”.

“I'm selling a cow” said Jack.

“Maybe you should give me that cow and in return I will give you 5 magical beans” said the man”.

“OK” said Jack.

And they swapped.

Jack came running home and said “MUM, MUM guess what I got”.

And his mother guessed, “is it gold”.

“Nope”said Jack, It’s something even better”.

“ There’s nothing better than gold, I give up” said Jack’s mother.

“It’s 5 MAGICAL BEANS, ISN'T IT GREAT?

“NO IT”S NOT GREAT LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE, YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO GET MONEY IN RETURNS.

So jack’s mother said “go to bed without having supper”! she was really angry, really really angry.

So Jack just threw the beans out the window.

OK really I feel sorry for this kid, but not for long.

When it was early in the morning, Jack got up and looked out the window and guess what he saw, never mind don’t guess,  I wanna tell you what he saw, he saw the way to get in to my castle, let me guess, you don’t know what that means, well it means the beanstalk!.

So he went outside and climbed the beanstalk, remember how I said I feel sorry for that kid WELL I DON'T ANY MORE.

So he climbed up MY BEANSTALK and he saw my castle, he was walking  toward it and he entered it and asked my pretty lady for some food and I wasn't there.

So my wife gave him some food and I forgive her for

So he ate and I came and he hid in the oven and when I entered my house I said Fi fie Foe, I smell an blood of an Englishman.

My wife said “Oh it’s just the delicious soup I made for you”.

And I forgive her for lying, what, what could I do.

So I ate and I fell asleep and you know what that creep did he stole my gold!.

He went and he showed his mum the gold he stole which was mine.

And his mother was happy, she didn't care if he stole it, and he came again he stole my chicken and then he came again and this time he stole my harp and my amazing harp called me saying “master master”.

And I ran after Jack and you know what he did, he called his mum and said “MUM MUM BRING THE AXE” and he cut it and and I died of course and Jack and his mother were living happily ever after, with all my stuff.

You must be wondering where I'm telling you the story from, well you should have guessed I was telling you my perspective from heaven I could have be in hell but I'm not because I obviously didn't do anything bad.  

So Thank you for listening.

From the big giant. 

We have been doing fairy tales and doing other peoples point of views.